LG Almighty, I have the hardest body in the world to jeans-shop for. All you girlies out there, don't go gettin' all anorexic/righteous on me because I do think I'm a cutie - no body issues here, but there is no getting around it, my large(r) thighs + (relatively) teeny waist mean every single bloody jean out there is too tight around my leg but super loose and baggy in the waist. And skinny jeans? The WORST offenders....---Until today. I'm so excited about this I had to blog about it.
A little background: we just had our once a year sale at JC. We got over 20 huge boxes of sale stuff from our AZ stores, including loads of denim, most of it at least a year old and from designers I totally didn't recognize, including this strange label Jenne Maag. During the busiest day of our sale, one of the girls was convinced someone had stolen some of our jeans and left their "crappy" pair behind when she picked up the JMs. It's true - they're not lookers in the least, and they're sized weird.
I tried on most of the jeans in "my size." They were beauts - awesome detailing on the pockets, designer names like Hudson, soft, yummy denim, gorgeous washes. It took me a long time to work up the energy to do so. First, I would "harvest" the jeans and store them away in little nooks in the store, but wouldn't protest if a customer or employee put them back.
Once I had my stash finalized, I vocalized my desire to try on jeans to everyone I spoke with, and claimed my stash with a post-it, giving the stink-eye to anyone who ventured too close. My managers had to tell me to stop circling. J/K.
It took me about three days to try on all the jeans in my stash. None of them fit. No surprise there, really.
Yesterday, there was a huge bust of shop-lifters at the store across the street from ours, including a girl who had been in our store earlier. (!) Like six policemen and loads of shouting and crying. Eeep. This was after I had lost all hope of ever finding skinny jeans (or any jeans really) that looked cute on me. A dark and gloomy day.
I worked by myself today and the paranoia was ripe for the picking. I would count how many items I put in a fitting room and employed the rule of Conservation of Hangers and Garments almost continously (There is a garment for every hanger and vice versa is the basic principle).
A girl came in and picked out a pair of Jenne Maags to try one, and as she lifted them from the rack I had a lightbulb moment - she had the same body type as me, the Jenne Maags were dark and skinny legged, and I was about to put them in a fitting room for her. Hope and fear entwined in my heart.
Then a whole bunch of people came in and I lost track of her until she came to the register to check out. She had a brown pair of JMs - not the jeans. In what I can see now was not the most polite tone I asked her very sternly if she left her other items in the fitting room because remember today I suspected everyone of shoplifting, especially old ladies because isn't that the perfect cover, and how heinous would it be if my perfect jeans were shoplifted from under my very nose only seconds after I realized the Ugly Duckling was in fact my Swan?!?!
Sooo...to make a long story short (too late) I tried them on, they fit great, they look awesome and I LOVE them. (Plus I got them for $30 marked down from $172.) Happy dance!!
Check my beast out here: Jenne Maag.
Okay, not to get our heart rates up too high, but these are some sweet shoes: Ready? Begin! Tracy Neuls.